4. Social Exchange Theory

- The Social Exchange Theory is the idea that all relationships are based on a give and take scale which may not always be divided equally. Furthermore, in social exchange people look to maximize benefits and minimize the costs. Essentially when the risks of the relationship begin to outweigh the rewards, the relationship becomes unsatisfactory to one or both people involved. More specifically in an intimate relationship, this problem may exist because two people may be communicating in the wrong love languages. As explained by Gary Chapman, many people become frustrated in their relationship because they feel they are exhausting themselves for their spouse and receiving nothing in return. However as we saw with the many examples in the book that may not always be the case. Very rarely did we observe one person in the relationship doing nothing for the other, almost always they were being active in the relationship but it was not recognized by their spouse because they were not using the correct love language. When a couple communicates with the wrong love languages their love is essentially lost because it was not received and interpreted by their significant other. Hence the relation to the social exchange theory, if the love from one to the other is not felt within a relationship the give and take scale is thrown off. Therefore because of the lack of love received from their spouse the idea is reversed and they may feel maximized on costs while running low on the benefit of the relationship, which causes unsatisfaction and frustration with the other person.